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I've been working with and advising college students for nearly two decades now and one of the biggest indicators of academic success is inner confidence. Some have it right away, but others have to work at developing it as they transition into a new phase of their life in order to maximize their full potential. Now, in working with coaching adults towards another type of goal - weight loss and wellness - I've discovered that inner confidence still plays a critical role. Personally, I did have inner confidence in some areas of my life, but it was absolutely lacking in others. This became glaringly obvious to me when I started to focus on my wellness journey. Once I was able to find the right tools and harness the power of confidence across a broader spectrum, there was no looking back for me. There are all kinds of strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behavior and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself, but they're all redundant if the foundation isn't there. That foundation is the real you, the you that you know deep down you are. The trick is that it takes confidence to find that and to bring out who you are – here are the two keys to real inner confidence. 1. Get To Know Your Values Personal values are a big passion of mine and I often get carried away with myself when I talk about them. This is the topic of an entire lesson that I teach in my seminar to college students aspiring to be future teachers. I make no apology for that though – they’re one of the most important things you can know about yourself and are vital in getting genuine inner confidence. Your values are ten thousand feet down inside you, right at the very core of who you are; and they’re the building blocks, the foundations and cornerstones for you. A value is something in yourself, in others or in the world that’s most important to you, and could include things like beliefs, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement or freedom. Why is it that some people and situations leave you feeling angry, frustrated, demotivated or deflated? It’s because one or more of your values is being denied, suppressed or repressed – and we experience that as a negative experience because it’s denying a fundamental piece of who you are. You know those times when you’ve felt really alive, amazing or buzzing? Those are the times when one or more of your values are being honored, and you can get more of that by living according to them. When you get to know your values, you can start to make choices and align your life around them. It’s so simple and it feels amazing because all that really means is that you’re allowing who you are to live in the real world.  2. Exercise the Muscle Confidence is a muscle, and like any muscle you need to exercise it so that it doesn’t shrink and waste away. The problem is that unlike your biceps or glutes, which tend to stay in the same place, your confidence muscle can be harder to find. How do you develop your biceps or firm up your glutes? By doing exercises that are designed to work that muscle over a period of time until you see the results you were looking for. It’s just the same with confidence. Let’s say that you’re the kind of person that doesn’t take many risks, the kind of person who goes through each day doing what needs to be done and doing it well, but not really stretching yourself. You might talk yourself out of doing something because it’s too scary or because you think to yourself ‘I’m not good enough,’ ‘that’s not who I am’ or ‘I don’t really want it anyway.’ That kind of person lives within what they know and what keeps them safe and comfortable. The fewer risks they take, the less confident they need to be and so the less confident they become. To work your confidence muscle you need to be prepared to take risks – big or small. You need to be willing to stretch yourself in an unfamiliar direction, to try something new or try something in a slightly different way. You need to open yourself up to the possibilities around you and push yourself to increase what you know, what you do and who you are. The more open you are to risk, opportunity and possibility the more confident you need to be, and so the more confidence you’ll develop. That’s your confidence muscle – the question is, what are you going to do to exercise it? I see so many essentially talking themselves out of pursuing a healthier and happier existence because of a lack of inner confidence. Don't let that be you! Dig into understanding your values! Let those values motivate positive action and extinguish the fears that are holding you back! It's okay to be real... Do you have a solid understanding of what your core values are? If so, do you feel that you are currently using those values to guide your daily actions in an effective way? Why or why not? Please share your response to these questions or any other thoughts you have on this article in the comments. I'd love to hear from you! Don't forget... Sign up for the Create Your True Life mailing list so you don't miss a thing...
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 If you’re currently not eating a healthy diet, it can absolutely be difficult to start. However, healthy eating along with some physical activity is very important for maintaining a good bodily function and goes a long way towards living a disease-free life. If you struggle with healthy eating, then you know that breaking unhealthy habits can be the most difficult part of the process. But, it is also not impossible and anyone can do it if they put their mind to it and acknowledge and understand their motivations for a healthier lifestyle. Here's a few tips to help you get started.
Yes, it can be difficult to make the necessary changes to healthier eating. Along with the difficulty of change, you may not feel well for a short period of time. This is actually normal as your body is adjusting to your new and improved lifestyle and is cleansing itself from the unhealthy toxins built up from poor eating habits over a long period of time. Give it time...it will pass and you will be AMAZED by how much better you feel - inside and out - for the effort! By taking your time to acknowledge and understand your eating habits and learn about the why and how of shifting to healthier habits in an orderly fashion, you will feel much better within yourself physically, mentally and emotionally and well on the road to becoming as healthy as you can be! It's okay to be real... What are the things that sometimes derail your healthier eating efforts? What tricks or tips do you have to help you rebound? Please share your response to these questions or any other thoughts you have on this article in the comments. I'd love to hear from you!
What's your dream? It doesn't matter if your goals are related to your professional life (like a promotion or a career change) or your personal life (like improving your health or ditching a bad habit like smoking). If you want to give your vision a jumpstart, actively writing down your goals can have a huge impact on your success. Use these questions to speed up bringing your dream to life! 1. What's your highest priority in this lifetime? What's most important for you to experience, explore or embrace this time around? Until you answer this question, your life goals will be off purpose. Unaligned with your inner passion, your intentions will lack the power to attract the people and situations necessary to become a reality. Get clued into your true joy. What activities did you enjoy as a child? What are your hobbies now? When your goals are aligned with your soul, synchronicity kicks in to guide you to your target. 2. Is this your dream, or someone else's? Are your goals your own choice, or what others think you should strive for? Do you want to look back in your old age and wish you had followed your passion? Will you regret having "played it safe?" Is it selfish to go after your own dream? What joy can you give to others if you haven't given it to yourself first? 3. Are you settling for less than? Are you resigned to accepting less than your full share of love, health and success in this lifetime? Have you compromised and sacrificed your dream? Anything short of living your true passions will never make you happy.  4. What will you feel like when you reach your dream? Personal passion fuels a vision. Dive into the thrill and exhilaration of the feeling of living your dream. The Hawaiian Kahuna say, "Where your creative attention flows, so flows your life." 5. What steps can you take today toward your dream? Don't defer your dream. Set up supports and systems around you to instantly translate your intentions into action. Jump on every opportunity that is in line with your purpose and vision. Are there smaller projects that lead to your larger dream? If the dream is to run a marathon, train for a local fun-run first. And find a way to measure your progress. Track those little wins-by writing in a journal or telling a friend. 6. Are you telling yourself: "I can't have my dream?" Most people don't believe they can live their dream. Either their belief system has them believing they can't make a living doing what they love, or they feel they don't deserve their dream. To avoid the pain of feeling they can't have their dream, people often keep their dream so buried they can't remember they ever had a dream. Everyone has a dream! And everyone is destined to fulfill that purpose. Why wait? It's okay to be real...What's your dream? What's holding you back? Did any of these questions offer you an aha moment that might just get you out of a rut and back on track to fulfilling the best of what life has in store for you? Please share your response to these questions or any other thoughts you have on this article in the comments. I'd love to hear from you!
What are your expectations for your life? Are you excited about your future or are you facing it with apprehension and fear? For most people the future holds too many uncertainties and the fear of what might happen tends to overshadow the ray of light that represents the life they ultimately desire. One of the hardest things to do in life is to lift yourself out of your current circumstance and step up to the level of life you desire. We all live with an unconscious expectation of ourselves and our own lives. This expectation not only determines what we have in our lives but it also represents what we are willing to settle for. Expectation is a very powerful emotion and one that very few people ever learn to fully cultivate. Whatever you expect with certainty is what you will get in your life. Expectation is the emotional state where an idea becomes so real that you feel it even though you can't hold it yet. Expectation is like an invisible magnet that will attract into your life that which you expect. When you expect something you activate and engage those parts of your mind and your nervous system that can empower you to think the unthinkable and do the undoable. One of the most powerful ways to cultivate expectation is to develop a very clear vision for your life. Most people never even make the time to really define what they want from their lives, but even those who do follow the hope and pray strategy. They kind of know what they want but they don't believe they can have it, so they hope that something will happen and come along their life path to fulfil their desires. Expectation however, is a completely different mindset. It is a mindset of absolute certainty that can be consciously cultivated. Inherent in hoping there is a sense of doubt as you always hold two opposing results in your mind's eye. When you expect something you know it is definitely happening. The very focus of your mind dwells upon one definite end result. To turn a hope into an expectation, you simply eliminate doubt and fear by eliminating the opposing outcome. Instead of "seeing" something fail or succeed, you now only see the success. With expectation your actions, your words and your imagination dwells upon and reflects you already having and being exactly what you want. When you expect something you remove the doubt that is inherent in hoping. Here's an example. When a mother is pregnant, we would say she is expecting. In other words, she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt exactly what's going to happen. Although some of the details are still unclear she is certain about the fact that she will have a baby and not something unknown. On an emotional level she can feel the result because she is expecting it although she can't see and touch it yet. What you expect for your life is exactly like that. When you start to expect for your life that which you absolutely desire your whole mindset turns from an uncertain hoping and wishing to the certainty of expecting. The images you encourage and entertain in your mind's eye, what you say to yourself and everybody else reflects only the results you are committed to.  "Nobody succeeds beyond his or her wildest expectations Most people expect the worst and hope for the best. Our cultural conditioning has taught us things like "don't get your hopes up" – just in case you might be disappointed. We've been taught to aim as low as possible. Everything above that will be a bonus. Right? Wrong! Remember that what you expect with certainty is what you will get in your life. You have to break away from the autopilot of the masses that just settle for an ordinary life; a life where they are not really happy but they are not unhappy to do something about it. If you want to lift your life and the quality of your life to a higher level than what it is at the moment you need to start by raising your expectations. Raise your expectations of what you are as a person and what you believe you deserve. See, what you believe you deserve is based on your expectations. When you lift your expectations to a higher level you raise your own standards and raising your standards is the first step to improving your life. When you expect only the very best you will get only the very best. What you earn right now is what you expect to earn. The amount of free time you have right now is what you expect to have as free time. The relationships you have are what you expect it to be. When you expect the best it's not like expecting something good or something similar, but it is the best and only the best. You have to stop settling for less than you can be or have. On a deep psychological level this is exactly what creates your expectations and that is why a lifetime of settling for less than you can be creates an expectation that is only okay. It becomes the standard that you are willing to settle for. Think of yourself as the pregnant mother who expects (not hopes) only the best and with her imagination she is able to "live" the result in magnificent detail until she eventually has the experience of physically holding her expectation. You have to nurture and care for your desires and only by becoming unreasonable in your expectations can you turn your deepest desires into reality. Expectations are ideas that are build on solid rock. They are unshakeable; unlike hopes and wishes that will wash away with the first storm that comes along. You need no special skills or knowledge to raise your expectations. You simply need a decision that from this point onwards you will never again settle for anything less than you can possibly be. The difference between hoping for something with uncertainty and depending on something with expectation is nothing but the way you control and direct the focus of your mind. What you say to yourself, the images you imagine and your behavior are what you can consciously control and direct. But, only if you choose to. If not, you will revert back to the autopilot of the masses just go with the flow of whatever comes along. The cultural autopilot is the emotional default and only through conscious and consistent nurturing of your desires and emotions can you live life by your own standards and create the expectations that will lead you to a life of abundance and fulfilment. Great expectations create great results. When you expect the best it will become a directional mechanism that will guide you to seeking out and finding what you expect. The difference between great expectations and weak hopes is nothing but a mindset; a mindset that can make the difference between living a life of fulfilment and one of desperation and frustration. Create the expectation by making sincere decisions. Nurture your expectations by never settling for anything less than the best. It’s okay to be real…
Do you have an example of when your own expectations either helped or hindered the achievement of a particular goal in your life. Please share your response to these questions or any other thoughts you have on this article in the comments. I'd love to hear from you!
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About meAfter struggling for years with my own career, marriage and health, I have discovered a whole new quality of life by changing my mindset, taking chances as well as finding and using the right tools to help focus on choices that lead to joy in the pursuit of health and happiness. Now, I'm called to share my journey, what I've learned and those tools so that they might help others, too! Archives
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