2 keys to boosting your inner confidence...

I've been working with and advising college students for nearly two decades now and one of the biggest indicators of academic success is inner confidence. Some have it right away, but others have to work at developing it as they transition into a new phase of their life in order to maximize their full potential.

Now, in working with coaching adults towards another type of goal - weight loss and wellness - I've discovered that inner confidence still plays a critical role.

Personally, I did have inner confidence in some areas of my life, but it was absolutely lacking in others. This became glaringly obvious to me when I started to focus on my wellness journey. Once I was able to find the right tools and harness the power of confidence across a broader spectrum, there was no looking back for me.

There are all kinds of strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behavior and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself, but they're all redundant if the foundation isn't there. That foundation is the real you, the you that you know deep down you are.

The trick is that it takes confidence to find that and to bring out who you are – here are the two keys to real inner confidence.

​1. Get To Know Your Values

​Personal values are a big passion of mine and I often get carried away with myself when I talk about them. This is the topic of an entire lesson that I teach in my seminar to college students aspiring to be future teachers.

I make no apology for that though – they’re one of the most important things you can know about yourself and are vital in getting genuine inner confidence.

Your values are ten thousand feet down inside you, right at the very core of who you are; and they’re the building blocks, the foundations and cornerstones for you. A value is something in yourself, in others or in the world that’s most important to you, and could include things like beliefs, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement or freedom.

Why is it that some people and situations leave you feeling angry, frustrated, demotivated or deflated? It’s because one or more of your values is being denied, suppressed or repressed – and we experience that as a negative experience because it’s denying a fundamental piece of who you are.

You know those times when you’ve felt really alive, amazing or buzzing? Those are the times when one or more of your values are being honored, and you can get more of that by living according to them.

When you get to know your values, you can start to make choices and align your life around them. It’s so simple and it feels amazing because all that really means is that you’re allowing who you are to live in the real world.

2. Exercise the Muscle

Confidence is a muscle, and like any muscle you need to exercise it so that it doesn’t shrink and waste away. The problem is that unlike your biceps or glutes, which tend to stay in the same place, your confidence muscle can be harder to find. How do you develop your biceps or firm up your glutes? By doing exercises that are designed to work that muscle over a period of time until you see the results you were looking for.

It’s just the same with confidence. Let’s say that you’re the kind of person that doesn’t take many risks, the kind of person who goes through each day doing what needs to be done and doing it well, but not really stretching yourself. You might talk yourself out of doing something because it’s too scary or because you think to yourself ‘I’m not good enough,’ ‘that’s not who I am’ or ‘I don’t really want it anyway.’ That kind of person lives within what they know and what keeps them safe and comfortable. The fewer risks they take, the less confident they need to be and so the less confident they become.

To work your confidence muscle you need to be prepared to take risks – big or small. You need to be willing to stretch yourself in an unfamiliar direction, to try something new or try something in a slightly different way. You need to open yourself up to the possibilities around you and push yourself to increase what you know, what you do and who you are. The more open you are to risk, opportunity and possibility the more confident you need to be, and so the more confidence you’ll develop.

That’s your confidence muscle – the question is, what are you going to do to exercise it?

I see so many essentially talking themselves out of pursuing a healthier and happier existence because of a lack of inner confidence.

Don't let that be you! Dig into understanding your values! Let those values motivate positive action and extinguish the fears that are holding you back!

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​It's okay to be real...

​Do you have a solid understanding of what your core values are? If so, do you feel that you are currently using those values to guide your daily actions in an effective way? Why or why not?

Please share your response to these questions or any other thoughts you have on this article in the comments. I'd love to hear from you!

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